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TΡΕΧΩ ΤΙΣ ΠΡΟΑΛΛΕΣ βραδάκι στον δρόμο (για απόλαυση, όχι για δουλειές), και έχω στ’ ακουστικά 1055. Τα ίδΓια και τα ίδΓια. Να τα μάθουμε ειζ βάθος, δΓια της επαναλήπσεως, ε; Και, καθώς υπομένω για μυρΓιοστή φορά το ‘Roxanne’, από τους Police, ανακαλύπτω την ηλιθΧιότητα, που κρύβει μέσα του το άζμα, και ανάβει μες στην γκλάβα μου ο γλόμπος τής ιδέας: «Πρέπει να γυρίσω βιντεοκλίπι τη ‘Ροκσάνη’!».
Και παίρνω να σκέφτομαι, ενόσω τρέχω, το κόνσεπτ τού βιντεοκλιπΧιού. Κι επειδή γέρνω όταν τρέχω, παραθέτω τις φαντασίεζ μου σε πλάγια γράμματα:
Η Ροκσάνη, μια καραπουτανάρα, όχι μεγάλη σε ηλικία, βία-βία 33 χρονών, γλυκιά και όμορφη, συμπαθής αλλά αναμαλλιαζμένη, τριγυρνάνει παραπατώντας σε ένα πλακόστρωτο. Παραδείγματος χάριν, σε ένα στενοσόκακο στη Φλωρεντία. Ή στα Λαδάδικα, δεν έχουμε μεγάλο μπάτζετ για Φλωρεντίες, ας είμαστε ρεαλιστές. Αποκαμωμένη από την αισχρή, αλλά τόσο κοινωνικά πολύτιμη εργασία της (σήμερα, «χτύπησε» ’περωρίες, πενήντα σερνικά ξεπέταξε η δικιά μας), καταρρακωμένη ψυχικά, ράκος και σωματικά. Ράκη και τα ρούχα της. (Ξε)σκιζμένα διχτυωτά stockings. Μαύρα stockings. Μαύρη μίνι φούστα. Μαύρες γόβες. Ζουμ στιζ γόβες. Τι δΓιάλο; Της έσπασε το ένα τακούνι, γαμώ τα πλακόστρωτά μας, γαμώ. Καταργήστε τα πλακόστρωτα, γαμώ την…ε… πουτάνα μου, εντάξει. Γαμώ την καραπουτανάρα μου! Μία γόβα με τακούνι, μία με σπαζμένο τακούνι, σαν σπαζμένο καράβι πάει. Μόνη. Ημίφως. Κόκκινα φωτάκΧια, στα γειτονικά μπουρδέλα. Σκατά στα μούτρα τής κοινωνίας, που επιτρέπει να υπάρχουν ταλαίπωρες Ροκσάνες! Μαύρη και η φτηνή ντεκολτέ μπλούζα της. Μυρίζει σπέρμα (φιλμάρουμε οντόραμα, σας το ’πα;). Χύσι και φτηνό άρωμα μποχάει η Ρόκσι. Ράκσι. Ένας μαλάκας, πρόωρος, τον πίπωνε και την έχυσε στην μπλούζα ο χάνος.
Δεν πειράζει που είμαι αναλυτικός, α; Ας πολυλογώ κι εγώ μια φορά στη ζωή μου.

Πάνω εκεί, βρίσκει τον εραστή και νταβά της. Εγώ τον παίζω αυτόν, εξ ου και η φωτό. Ο εραστής και νταβατζής (εγώ) μία ωθεί την κρπτνρ στην πορνεία, και την άλλη, απυβδυζμένος, μπουχτιζμένος, την παρακινεί να ξεκόψει. Της τραγουδά (ακούγεται από τα ηχεία ο ζάβλακας ο Στινγκ): “Raxanne, you don’t have to put on the red liiiight…”. O Sting είναι φάλτσος, αλλά δεν επηρεάζει αυτό την ιστορία μας, μην κάνουμε άνευ σημασίass παρενθέσεις. Της κλαίγεται (της κλαίγομαι, είμαι δίπλα της, και κλαψουρίζω με τη φωνή τού φάλτσου): “you don’t have to year that dress (καλά αόμμματος είναι; φούστα-μπλούζα είναι!) tonight, walk the streets for money…”. Eκειπάνω, η δικιά μας αρχίζει και δΓιαμαρτύρεται (Χα ξου, σε προζβάλλει να κάνεις τη Ράκσι;). Την πΧιάνει το παράπονο. Και, με δάκρυα στα μάτΧια, and a bleeding mascara, αρχίζει και χειρονομεί, κουτσαίνοντας λόγω σπαζμένης γόβας (βγαίνει συννεφάκι με τίτλους στην οθόνη): “I’m pissed off, Johnny. I’m fed the fuck up! I can’t stand it no more. Just a little while ago, some stupid fucked my littlie asshole so hard, that I’m farting all the time. Actually/In fact (multiple choise script?), I can’t stop farting!” Και ακούγονται κλανιές από τα ηχεία. Κλανιές και κλάματα μαζί. Δυστυχώς (για τον θεατή τού βιντεοκλίπ), γυρίζουμε οdorama. Aς πρόσεχε ο θεατής. Εγώ (ο νταβάς) συγκινούμαι. Αλλά μετράω και τα λεφτά, που μου δίνει. Business is business. Business first… Kαλά, δεν θα αναρτήσω και όλο το σενάριο τώρα (γιατί δεν το έχω γράψει όλο). Ο Νάσος, όταν του ψιθύρισα το κόνσεπτ, προσέθεσε τις δικές του, pretty crazy, πινελιές. Αν δεν βαρΓιέται, ας τις προσθέσει και στο ποστ. Αν μη τι άλλο, για να καταδείξει και το παραγωγικόου brainstorming, που επικρατεί στους Ίκτερους. Ο Άγγελος άκουγε σΧιωπηλός στο πίσω κάθιζμα τού αμαξΧιού να περιγράφω το κόνσεπτ στον Να Σο. Θα συμμετάσχει; Θέλεις να είσαι ο απαιτητικός πελάτης, Αγγ;

86 σχόλια:

amarkos είπε...

Η αλήθΧεια είναι ότι δεν άκουσα ούτε λέξη απ' το κονσεπτ δΓιότι λογομαχούσα στο πίσω κάθισμα με τη Ντινιώ. Πώς έχασα ολόκληρο ΣενάρΓιο, ούτε που το κατάλαβα.

Ωστόσο δέχομαι να πρωταγωνιστήσω ως απαιτητικός κομπάρσος στο ακριβό βιντεοκλιπ της φτηνής Ροκ-σάνης.

Πότε αρχίζουμε γυρίΖματα;

John G. Simandiras είπε...

το ξέρω ότι είχατε στήσει κουβέντα, και δεν άκουγες, χε χε χε...

it's up to nasso now. he'll be the director.

haxou aka joy! είπε...

Κωλοσσιαίο! Επιτέλους! Ένα κλιπ αντάξιο του διαμετρήματος των Ίκτερων!

Φυσικά, συνίκτερε Για Νι, και δε με προσβάλλει να παίξω τη Ράκσι. Ίσα ίσα! Αλλά καθότι έχω αρχίσει τους ντιβισμούς τελευταία, θέλω:

α. να με λένε Ραξού στην ιστορία και όλο το τραγούδι να αλλάξει με αυτό το όνομα στους στίχους.
β. οι γόβες που θα φορώ στο κλιπ να είναι MONARDA, σαν της Katharina, ειδική παραγγελία από τη Lubljana (ή είμαστε πουτάνες με κλαςς ή δεν είμαστε)
γ. το farting δε θα είναι ντουμπλαρισμένo, αλλά θα τo εκτελώ εγώ. Ήδη έχω αρχίσει να εξασκούμαι στο να παίζω τη μελωδία κλάνονταςς.
Ας κάνετε καλά εσείς, που θα με ανεχτείτε στα γυρίσματα.

John G. Simandiras είπε...

λεφτά να μη θες, και όλα τα άλλα κανονίζονται. ρακσού. κωλοσσιαία ιδέα να παίξεις τη μελωδία κλάνοντας. ο άγγελος ήδη έχει ερεθιστεί. he's into farting very much.

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